The good thing about it is that I actually felt relieved that she knows how I feel towards her, never-ending annoyance. But it bothers me somehow, since I don’t think she got the point, considering the fact that it started from something else. But I did hint her to go back and recall everything she did. If her self reflection fails, I’ll give up. She’s totally hopeless.
And so, for the long awaited narration of the events that transpired. I’m warning you though; this won’t be as nice as the last entries. I’m just too tired to exercise patience over someone as low as her. Ah, I’m already starting with the cursing, profanities and insults. More to come.
So I started the day with a rather bad mood. Her talking to me and crying like a baby just made it worse. You see, we were ‘supposed’ to wait for a CDEC officer who would refer me to another to train me to an IVP. Case is when she skipped class last Wednesday to attend a seminar for OFFICERS and ASPIRING OFFICERS, the said IVP already talked with her. And we just learned about it that day too. It was no big deal for me though since being an officer’s apprentice does not increase your percentage of winning. Its simply bragging rights.
And so she kept on talking with LA saying that she expected and that she was even introduced to the moderator making her an official apprentice and all. And I was there. To think she was talking to me first but then shifted to LA. And of course at first, I didn’t mind. I mean, to hell with her. I won’t die if I don’t become an officer. But suddenly, it was just too much. She kept on repeating the same thing over and over again saying she expected and so on and it just went on and on that I just got tired, snapped and said it. I told her that she just have to be frank and tell me not to interfere with her business. She didn’t have to use all those reasons and get all emotional and stuffs like that. Because people get tired of reasons and it just so happens I’m so damn tired of it. And you know what she did? She started crying. DUH!
And she said that she’ll just tell the IVP that she changed her mind and so and so... And I told her that I didn’t say anything wrong since I know I didn’t and I just told her to be frank. And then she went on saying that it was in my tone of voice. And I said, what tone do you expect me to have? I’m having a bad day here and everyone’s already used to me using that tone every single time that I’m mad. And how many months have we been together actually for her not to get used to that? 1 semester.
And she told me that not everyone can adjust to that. And honestly, I didn’t answer that one. Why? Because I was more focused on how she said it. It was in English. Not that I was taken aback. It’s just that I noticed she forced it out of her in English. I was stopping myself from commenting about that. I mean, she didn’t have to force herself to say it in English. I can understand Filipino quite well. No need for translations. XD
So the first confrontation ended. And wow! There was part two! This is more than I could hope for!
It started when I went up to Reliza to ask if she was able to talk to our English prof. Turns out she just asked another classmate to do that for her. And I wanted to ask her if she wanted to run as president, just out of curiosity. But I accidentally slipped that I had a confrontation with Joyce. And turns out, the Joyce person was right behind me. Hahah!! So that she won’t feel that I’m turning everything against her which I’m not actually doing, I hastily changed the subject. But she approached. And started saying that Reliza tell the IVP that she’s not running for CDEC anymore and stuffs like that. And so I interrupted that it was okay. I was only asking you to say it frankly to me and I’m not saying that you step down. And yet she insisted that so and so and so. And then she said it. We clash. I simply said yeah we do clash. But deep inside, I wanted to tell her that we clash because you are so insensitive not to sense it.
Ah, and then she said in halting English once again… wait... this is too good to pass up... I must directly quote.
“I think I should…. You should… I think you o-owe me an apology.”
Ah those were the words that brought smile on my lips. Me, apologize? Geez. I think you’ve got everything wrongly. Perhaps you should think back since we’ve had this issue for so long and I don’t know why you don’t know about it but we’ve had this for so long. And why don’t you think back and reflect on things and perhaps you’ll see that you’re actually the one that needs to apologize to me and everyone else. You know, just perhaps you have enough brains to process things. Though if you don’t, I’ll be happy to continue this some other time. Right now, you’re driving me insane with everything that come from that big mouth of yours. Geez, I never thought confrontations can be this entertaining.
Alright, so I didn’t really say those exact words but I said something less rude but along the lines of those. And I left. Simply because my dad was already there. And say what, I even said goodbye laughing at her stupidity.
So now, what exactly do I plan to do?
I plan to make a TKO on Monday, once she arrives. We discuss. First I’ll tell her my problem. That she’s annoying me non stop every single day and how irresponsible she is and how unscholarly she acts. Well, basically everything that I wrote the past few entries. Then, I tell her exactly what she sees in me. Because believe me, we almost came to the agreement that I tell her what’s my problem and she’ll tell me what’s her problem. But I don’t think it’s necessary. I can speak for the both of us. Coz I know exactly what she hates about me. Perhaps it would also help if I point out that I’m doing all of it so that she’ll stay away from me because if she doesn’t, I might loose control. And that I’m doing all those antics that annoy her for her own protection too. I didn’t want to explode on her like that. She might kill herself from trauma. But since she’s asking for it, it can’t be helped. I’ll be going all out on her on Monday.
My speech will be made of such.
I don’t like you coz you act like a know it all. Like some sort of honor student that we should worship when in fact, you’re no better than me. You act as if you’re so responsible and yet you fail at these responsibilities shamelessly. Honestly, how many people can act the way you do? Few, I consider myself lucky you’re the only one I’ve met so far. A great pretender.
I don’t like it when you copy my works and then jovially claim them as yours. I don’t like it when you disregard people’s hard work. I know perhaps you know of no such thing but you have to understand, not all people are like you.
You said not all people can adjust to my tone and get used to it. Well then, let me tell you that not all people can adjust to your so called sensitivity. This is who I am and I’m not pretending that I like you. Because I don’t and there’s no point pretending. If you can’t adjust then just don’t talk to me all in all. I don’t need you. Though I don’t think you can do much without me. After all, I’ve been saving your ass for sometime now.
You said that you were just forced to take the apprenticeship when I said I was only convinced by LA to run. Then why did you bother to attend that seminar if you were really just forced. Besides, weren’t we discussing before that you really are to run in the senior council and not in the CDEC? Why the sudden change of mind? Are you insecure?
I know that you don’t like me coz I’m all masungit and all. Well, let me tell you that I’m doing it all coz I don’t want a confrontation like this one. But it seems that you’re asking for it, then why not. After all, the greater damage will be against you. Not me.
I’m avoiding you. Shrugging you off as soon as I can. Sometimes I don’t even bother if I’m rude. Because I was giving my self space. I was calming myself down. I perceived that if I do that, I’ll soon get used to your ways and perhaps we won’t clash anymore. But then, I only perceive. I don’t really predict. I didn’t know you’d annoy me more each time. And thus, we find ourselves in this situation.
I’m dominant. But I do give fair chances. I set deadlines. Reasonable deadlines. And if you fail to comply, of course I get disappointed because you’re ruining my schedule. And I seldom make one so if you ruin it, it would make everything completely useless. In fact, every time, I make 3 schedules in case one fails, there would be plan bs. How could I know you’d destroy all 3 plans effortlessly? Well, that’s thrice the frustration.
I suppose that pretty much explains everything. If you’re hurt, you brought that upon yourself. I did tell you I won’t be nice. And if you are crying, I’m sorry but I won’t waste a tear on you. You’re just not worth it.
Sever ties of friendship, perhaps that’s what’s on your mind right now. But let me tell you something interesting. There is no point. Because it didn’t exist in the first place. You really can’t destroy something that’s not there, now could you? Did that hurt? I’m sorry but I was raised to think deeply of relationships. Especially that of friendship. I’ll tell you, LA is a friend. Trixie is a friend. Inna is a friend. Kate is a friend. Jaz and Issa are friends, well sometimes. But you, you’re just an acquaintance. That’s all. I’ve had many of you in high school. I don’t know them now. But my friends, they’re still here. And they will always be here. But acquaintance, they’re just random people that pass my way. Nothing more.
Is it painful? I’m sorry I could not empathize. Though I think you would like an agreement. It’s the closest you can get to me.
To be acquaintance till time permits and work together if circumstances ask. To be patient with one another and to divide jobs equally. That is all I can offer. That is all you are to me.
I can never trust you. Because you’re too noisy and nosy to be my friend. You’re all air and no brains. I only deal with people that can't understand me. And since we had this, it clearly means you don’t. So that’s the end of it. And this is not a fight. Only friends fight. its merely a confrontation. Between to humans. That is all there is to it.
**** end of the joyce chronicles ****
On other stuffs:
Dad bought 2 aircons today. Yay! Finally! An aircon that can cool my entire room! Wee!!
Dad bought
Dad was not able to buy me a fone since Samsung at cyberall sucks. We shall get it on Sunday.
Just read a lot of mangas last week. More to read.
Cleaned up Pierre. He now has 14.6GB of free memory. Yay! And I now have more that 35 backup CDs.
Finals week next week. One week to go and I’m free! Yay!!!
That’s it. Yay!! XD
